One year later Another Grand Day Out

If it's April Fools Day, you just have to get yourself down to your nearest Comedy Workshop. I'm sorry but it has to be done.

It is exactly a year since my last visit to Jan Etherington's Comedy Writing Course - Spring Workshop (click on the link for details)

Twelve miles west of Central London in the beautiful leafy suburb of Sunbury-on-Thames, home to the Riverside Arts Centre.

Just like last year it was a beautiful spring day and the daffodils were out on the river bank. 

This year there were just five of us, which was intentional. In that way the focus was very much on the work we are currently writing. I was a bit nervous about standing at the front and reading scripts out loud. To get stage fright in a small studio with just a handful of people was not something I wanted to tell my grand-children about, so after the first reading I decided to man-up and volunteered myself for the second one.

Anyway I was in good  company so there was nothing to worry about.

Jan is the best mentor an aspiring writer could wish for and she also makes good sandwiches and lots of them.

This year I took Henley's Ricotta, which is under re-development with the introduction of more characters and storyline.

We were kept busy throughout the day, which went too quickly. Jan doesn't beat about the bush when it comes to criticism, after all that's why we were there, Compliments are best kept in the family, but for those writers who really wish to develop, Jan and people like her who have years of valuable experience to share have all of the right answers that will help motivate, inspire and polish skills. Thanks Jan :-)

Wee Ghosties In Edinburgh

We have just got back from an amazing few days in Edinburgh, a fine city with good people who are proud of their heritage.

I had put together an itinerary of things to do, which ensured we did not have a dull moment whilst we were there.

We booked a 'Ghost Walk' for a bit of fun, and I think we chose well amongst the selection of various 'Walks' on offer in the medieval Old Town of Edinburgh.

Our guide, Jane, had us mesmerised, drawing us in closer to her whilst she spoke in a hushed conspiratorial manner, then blasted us out of her spell with an ear-splitting scream inserted just at the appropriate moment that required dramatic effect.

There was no way the dark alleyways with their gas-lamp style lighting would have enticed me to enter had I been on my own or even with Karen for company. But here we were listening to the most ghastly tales delivered in Jane's Scottish 'Horrible History' style, hoping that we might see 'something.'

We went to the underground 'Blair Street Vaults' beneath the Royal Mile where some of the vaults were illuminated by candle only. Here we heard the stories of the many ghostly encounters within the vaults we were standing in.  It would have been all too easy for the tour people to have set something fake up sufficient enough to satisfy the fear-craving we had when we first signed up for the walk. But no, nothing like that happened. The whole thing would have been ruined if they had. Nor did any of us have a ghostly encounter. I'm sure nobody in the group thought for one minute that there would be. It was for fun. Jane entertained us with stories based on fact. She even said she has not had a close encounter with any kind herself, but she knew quite a few people who had.

If you are thinking of going to Edinburgh and have not done the ghost walk, I recommend that you do. I don't want to spoil it for anyone by telling some of the stories, but believe me the stories are worth it. http://www.mercattours.com/home.asp

 As a writer, I appreciated that Jane's delivery was story telling at its best. To capture an audience in the way she did was something I have great admiration for.

As for the ghosties? I have never had a brush with the paranormal, but have no reason to doubt people who say they have.

Truth is I want to believe. 

Bridging the Generation Gap

This year I will qualify for free prescriptions and yet I still feel young in mind and on good days, young in body, although I have to invest some time and effort to maintain the status quo as far as my health is concerned.

During my formative years my perception of over 60's has been grey haired pipe smoking men in waistcoats with pocket watches who have survived the first and/or second world war, and their female counterparts who wore aprons and knew how to bake their own bread without a recipe in front of them. They were a generation of story tellers of a bygone age, old soldiers, old colonials, craftsmen of trades that have become almost extinct in this highly technological age. In short people with rich stories to tell.

I have not had the same experiences of my forebears. I grew up in the Beatles era, remember England winning the World Cup, the first landing on the moon, the Cuba crisis and massive changes in housing, education, employment, communication, transport, the distribution of wealth and standards of living.

We are indeed an aging population due to better healthcare and nutrition if I'm lucky I may live long enough to witness a generation of millennium babies grow up who will in turn have children that will live well into the next century.

When I think about my teachers many of whom were war veterans such as my headmaster was a Desert Rat, having served in the Eight Army in North Africa. I have no doubt that they were a generation who could have listened to tales from Boer war veterans during their own childhood.

Memories are handed over from one generation to another. The legacies of our ancestor's existence are often lost on young minds. I'm sure I was fascinated by much of what I was told as a child, but memories fade, and are often unreliable.

Earlier civilisations such as the Greeks and Romans have kept libraries full of records that have been the foundation of our history as we know it today. The Celsus library in Ephesus, today in ruins, was a prime example, a colossal edifice that was built to house wall to wall scrolls emphasising the glory that was once was Rome. A romantic but very subjective and selective view of how the Roman Senate wanted to be remembered. Much had been written about emperors, heroes and conquerors and only a limited amount of information about their adversaries such as Spartacus, whose rebellion of slaves was grossly underestimated by the Romans and cost them enormous losses to their legions.

Following the Romans, came the so called Dark Ages across Europe. The light of the Romans had gone, and little was recorded apart from the monks of early European Christendom.

It has been a long time since literacy has been the reserved domain of the select few. Each and every one of us is able to keep diaries or indeed blogs and preserve those cherished memories that you wish to be handed down the familial lineage. If yarns of rural Yorkshire on my father's family and tales of the British Raj from my mother's family have faded over the years, at least some of it is left, seeds that can be sown and develop as part of a storyline that people can relate to from what they know from history. Whilst history preserves factual details, a less scholastic and more humanistic account describing peoples hopes, fears, attitudes, values and beliefs that truly transports the reader into the shoes of our ancestors. 

Give Me a Museum and I'll Fill It

My thanks to a good friend (you know who you are)who told me I had missed a superb documentary, 'David Hockney: The Art of Seeing – A Culture Show Special,' shown last Monday on BBC2.  Thankfully I caught up with it on iPlayer. The show highlighted Hockney's 'A Bigger Picture' exhibition at the Royal Academy. Tickets are almost gone and the dates that are left are no good to me... drat.

http://www.royalacademy.org.uk/exhibitions/hockney/

David quoted Picasso 'Give me a museum and I'll fill it,' and went on to say 'Give me the Royal Academy and I'll fill it.'

This put me in mind of a comment I posted on somebody else's blog (you also know who you are) when I said that if an artefact is interesting enough to exhibit at a museum, there must be a story behind it, and if there isn't you  can make one up. This worked for me following a trip to the British Museum specifically to look at their collection of Ushabtis, (ancient Egyptian funerary figurines), which inspired me to write a script of the same name.

Question: Would Google or Wikipedia have saved me the time and trouble of my trip to London?

Answer: Yes. I have no doubt I could have elicited much more information providing it originated from a reliable source and was bona fide.

Question: Would Google or Wikipedia have inspired me to write Ushabti as much my visit to the Museum?

Answer: Noooooo!  Never in a million megabytes! My time with the Ushabtis got my heartbeat racing. I felt a connection that I couldn't stop thinking about and believed I had no option but to write about it. Yes, maybe I filled in some gaps from some books (purchased in Egypt) Wikipedia and I did feel compelled to purchase a translation of the 'Book of the Dead,' but this was from a hunger to know more following my experience and was not essential to the plot.

I think the point I am trying to make is, research is not just a passive exercise. Writers write best based on their own personal experience. A good positive experience will compel a writer to know more because the writer wants to know more. After all that the writing should flow because the passion within the writing is ALIVE.

So Mr Hockney, if by some million to one chance you are reading this please could you sell me a ticket. Maybe I could make up a story about one of your paintings J


Please Share the link below. the producer is a friend who needs to get her work out there.


THIS IS NOT MEDICINE webisode 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyN6sVM96yg&feature=related

If it makes you laugh, and can think of someone else you know would too, please SHARE IT on facebook/twitter/pigeon with 10, 5 or even that one person you think will have a giggle - Webisode 4 goes live on Sunday night! :)

Back from Get Writing 2012

                                          

It seemed that most of the delegates were undeterred by sub-zero temperatures, as it was quite a good turnout at the DeHavilland Campus, Hatfield University for Get Writing 2012. Maybe a few more empty seats than last year in the main auditorium but nevertheless enough people to be warmed by the friendly atmosphere throughout the day.

By its very nature writing is a rather solitary pursuit, which would explain why myself amongst other delegates leave their loved ones behind. My Karen wouldn't expect me to go with her to a knitting conference. (I am trying to picture a packed auditorium filled with the collective sound of knitting needles click clicking away). For this reason there appears to be little or no discomfort from making approaches to other lone delegates during the frequent coffee breaks to ensure the day is enhanced by good like-minded companionship and an expanded literary network to take home with me.

In the main hall it was mainly Q&A sessions with publishers, editors, literary agents, booksellers and of course writers. The subject of Kindle and e-book readers did crop up from time, but not as much as last year. There appeared to be more acceptance of the electronic page giving more opportunities for writers to get their work out there, and perhaps, as one delegate suggested an increase in sales within the book market. On the negative side of the argument, there seems to be a glut of sub-standard unedited work around which would make it very difficult to sift the good from the bad to the downright ugly.  It would appear that a monster is born, the book world's equivalent to spam. I am in no position to argue against the Kindle. I have had one for around 18 months now, and have no complaints with the quality of books I have downloaded. Indeed the Kindle has introduced me to some amazing talent which I may well have missed whilst physically browsing bookshelves.  However, I do feel there should be some regulatory body that will ensure the normal standards of proof-reading and editing are maintained to protect the book industry, writers and indeed the readers.

I did a three minute pitch to a literary agent, pitching Henley's Ricotta. Having managed to keep my synopsis down to one side of A4 I didn't feel the need to outline the premise or the main body of the story. Instead I spoke for one minute about how I came to write Henley's and described how and why it has evolved into what it is today. Then there was another minute on characterisation, ensuring that the main characters appeared well rounded and not one-dimensional. I reserved the last minute for questions, feedback, support, here's my number... but I had none of that. The agent (who will remain nameless) said 'comedy is a definite no-no in the book business right now. Write in another genre.' I knew things were going badly when I passed him my synopsis and he didn't even bother to turn it the right way round to look at it. A friend had advised me to smile, and I did. I approached him unrehearsed and relaxed (which tends to work best for me) and the only expectations I had, was to have a good experience, afterall, its three minutes... it's a fun thing, isn't it?

I don't believe that comedy is not in demand, or should I say in book form the genre is humour, not comedy. I searched fiction then refine searched to the genre of humour on Amazon and came up with over 29,000 search results.

Current market trends, we were told by one bookseller, places historical fiction at the top above crime. I have a passion for both crime and history novels but I find this hard to believe that history is the best selling genre.

My chosen workshops were 'Show me the Funny' which was an excellent hour with experienced stand up comedian and writer Brian Higgins. We did some work on observational stand up comedy. Brian is so good at people-watching that he claims to be reasonably accurate at guessing an individual's occupation by looking at them and talking to them for a short while. Stand up comedy has altered audience tastes and paved the way for writers of humorous fiction. Afterall there is nothing funnier than human behaviour which never fails to surprise. Take a fairly regular individual who appears to have his life mapped out for him, then end all that by pulling the rug from underneath him and put him in a different situation within a different social circle and chances he will be socially dysfunctional to some extent and that's comedy that a writer can work with. That's what I did with Henley.

 During the afternoon I picked up some good advice from writer/actress Julie Mayhew with her masterclass in writing for radio 'An Ear for a Tale.' She made us work and write small passages and got us to remove all the deadwood, meaningless exposition and retell the story using sound in ways I hadn't have thought of. We had to make up two characters, coming up with a name and age. Then she asked us to write down answers to these questions about our characters:

• ·         Favourite food?
• ·         Earliest memory?
• ·         How does he/she sleep?
• ·         Does he/she have a god?
• ·         Biggest fear?
• ·         Music playing now?
• ·         What does he/she want?
• ·         Why can't he/she have it?

None of this may be significant to the plot, but in terms of characterisation it is invaluable for the writer to have this depth of knowledge to fully understand how the character thinks and behaves. She said there is a list of 100 questions you should ask your characters!

My short story didn't make it for the Get Writing Cup, but I enjoyed writing it and will probably use it for something else. 

My thanks to the organisers and people from the Verulam Writers Circle (http://www.vwc.org.uk/) who make this event bigger and better each year. This was my third one. And special thanks to Brian Higgins, Julie Mayhew and Mike French.

Happy 200th Birthday Charles

During my early childhood, I remember my father as a no frills rather stern Yorkshire man. If you have seen Wilfred Pickles' portrayal as Tom Courtney's father in the 1963 film Billy Liar you will get the picture of what my father was like. Keith Waterhouse's Billy Liar was about a young man Billy Fisher who wanted to follow his dream. The problem for him was he had so many dreams he got badly lost not knowing which one to follow and eventually dreams and reality got somewhat blurred much to the disgust of his father who thought his son was 'going soft in the bloody head.'
When I got older my father drummed it into me to get a proper job. A proper job, by definition, meant 'get a trade behind you.' A trade meant only one thing, a 'factory job.' During and after the industrial revolution, when mill owners reaped a king's ransom elevating their status to that of the ruling class, in contrast to the post war years when skilled workers were able to earn money beyond what was needed for basic needs.
Dad enjoyed a good book. He read Harold Robbins' novels like 'A Stone for Danny Fisher' which I loved, and Mickey Spillane's Mike Hammer series and all of the James Bond books which really didn't do anything for me. I have no idea what he thought of the writers. I can only hazard a guess that writing would not have been a 'proper job' by his estimation.
But going back to my earlier years, I have fond memories of Dad reading to me. I can only ever recall him doing this twice, on consecutive Christmas Eves. He read A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. Sat in a dimly lit room by the coal fire, my sister and I were transfixed by Dad actually reading to us. I doubt if he would have read more than a chapter or two, but the magic of Dickens has never left me.

Dickens will live on to take future generations back in time to his era. He was a great social historian that understood the plight of the poor at a time when social deprivation was considered a scurge on the nation and paupers were treated like criminals. 
David Copperfield, Oliver Twist and Great Expectations were amongst  my personal favourites.
I try to imagine going to see the man perform at his public readings to packed houses, wherever he went. A true Rockstar Superstar of his time, and will remain so for many generations to come.
Happy 200^th Birthday Charles Dickens.

Henley's update

I now have a first draft of six chapters of Henley's Ricotta. With over 11,000 words so far and barely a quarter of the story written, I think the word count may hit novel status afterall.

There are new characters which have added to the pace and chaos that I have set out to achieve. I often think of the novels of Tom Sharpe famed for Riotous Assembly, Porterhouse Blue and the Wilt series plus many more (I've read them all) as the benchmark that I strive to aim for.

With Get Writing 2012 less than a month away, I think I have done enough to make my pitch to an agent. I need to write a synopsis, a log line and rehearse what I'm going to say. I don't think there will be anybody signed up on the strength of a very brief meeting at a conference, but it is exposure and the best I can hope for is to be given the names of some contacts that might be willing to take a look in a more conventional manner. http://www.vwc.org.uk/getwriting2012.php